Alright, today we're going to focus on something that's important when it comes to word choice, which is how much you can control other people's work choice.
Tip 3: Don't be an uninvited editor.
Alright, we've all heard the term "grammar Nazi," and for some of us, we've used it to describe ourselves. If you know me, you know I've done this over, and over, and over, and over again. I've done what I thought was correcting people far too often. Worse, I've used a mistake/misunderstanding based on grammar or syntax as part of my argument; logic doesn't really work like that.
"But if I'm trying to learn more about stuff around me, and if other people are wrong, then I can't!" Yeah, the whole point of these posts is to explain to you how to get around that. There's a distinct difference between asking for clarification and giving people unrequested "advice" or correction. I still have problems with this, because I got so used to using that as a tool to "win" an argument. Remember that if you're there to learn, you're not there to "win," you win by learning more, not by trying to prove the other person wrong. If you happen to convince them to learn more and maybe change their mind, great, but don't make that your singular goal. I'll explain that in more detail at a later date, but the short version is you'll just end up upset and disappointed.
If you think there's a misunderstanding or miscommunication happening, don't push for correction, ask for clarification. Make sure to make it about your own understanding, rather than their actions or intelligence. Here, I'll give you a list of options and explain why they're more or less preferred.
"Correction*"
That one's dismissive, and will almost always result in the perception of you being there for a fight, and that you think you're better than them. It also has the direct effect of pushing anyone who doesn't speak English as their first language, or doesn't speak academic English primarily, out of the conversation. Just, please don't do this.
"I think you meant/ did you mean 'Correction?"
This one's not as bad, but it still gives off that feeling of condescension and superiority. It also has that same silencing effect on people who don't speak your preferred dialect.
"Do you mean 'correction'?"
Much, much better, but if the other person is already emotionally charged, this is still pretty likely to result in an escalation of conflict.
"I'm sorry, I think I might have misunderstood. Can you explain what you meant when you said 'correction'?"
That one puts the fault on your lap, leaves them open to react as if you're not attacking them. It does take up more time/character limit, but it's the most likely to result in a more reasonable conversation in my experience.
Finally, let's talk about how using it as an argument doesn't work. The purpose of an argument is to counter the actual content of one of the previous claims, not to counter the person who presented it. Under the most strict rules of philosophical debate, who presents an argument doesn't really matter. Sure, expert opinion relies on expert credentials, but that's generally just evidence for a claim, rather than the claim itself. When you choose to try to make an argument out of correcting someone, you're basically attacking the arguer rather than the argument. It's a low blow that only serves to derail reasonable conversation.
Why does that matter? You can't get good information out of people who are pissed at you. If you want to learn more, to become better, to get the information so you can analyze it and choose whether it's reliable or needing to be rejected, you need it to be as reliable as the source of it can provide, which means you need to treat them well. That, and they're you're fellow person, often your fellow citizen of the same nation, the same community, you need to learn to work together.
Tomorrow's post will be about a similar subject to that last paragraph, the concept of ad hominem attacks. I hope it's helpful enough to clean up at least a few of the debates on the internet.
Regardless, you did good today. Take a moment to relax, and remember that. You're not a bad person, and you're even working to make yourself better. You deserve to feel good about that, okay?
Alright, as I've said before, if you're following along I'll "see" you in the next post, and otherwise have a good day. Goodbye!
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